The First Fix....
“She got the power I’m under her control, I don’t know what it was but it really got a hold. It must be something, I had to eat, I don’t what it was, but boy it sure was sweet” – Coco Soup x Kirkland Bodie
Did you watch the Chappelle special where he talked about the four separate occasions he met O.J. Simpson? This is something like that. I am going to tell you about the three times I think someone’s daughter tried to fix me. This starts with a sandwich.
If you are asking me if I believe in Obeah, I am telling you unequivocally fuck yes, I do!
Let me tell ya’ll how this ting go; if you got a beer, or something to put in the air now is a good time to do so.
So, long time ago I met this girl and we had some serious chemistry. Being fresh one day, she invited me over and we were chilin’ out, talking, akekeke’ing and all that. She asks me if I was hungry, so I said “Yeah, sure”, to which she replied “I’ll make you a chicken sandwich”.
I wasn’t quite as picky about food then as I am now, and in hindsight it wasn’t the most amazing chicken sandwich but it was quite extraordinary. Trinidadians like to talk that sweat rice thing but in The Bahamas, we have Coo-Coo soup. A magical brew meant to set any man in traction for the rest of their life.
That's another Kirkland Bodie line, but ya'll don't know 'bout that.
Man within 10 days I lost my mind and I was in love with this gal.
Nah as far I “did know”, this gal ain had no roots in Cat Island, or Andros which if ya talking strength of obeah they really the only two ya need in the conversation! She had roots in Eleuthera. I didn’t know Eleuthera people used to practice the bubble-bubble toil and trouble, but to each it’s own.
So, back to this sandwich; toasted white bread with sliced chicken topped with onions, black pepper, salt, cheese and some Dijon mustard for a little razzle dazzle. Like I said, nothing amazing, but certainly extraordinary; best chicken sandwich I’d had in my life up to that point.
How did I know it was the sandwich that did it? Listen, this obeah ting ain no joke daddio.
Ya know how women like to say they got the “must come back” and so that’s what causes fellas to lose they head and try mop up Lake Cunningham?
Boy ya’ll ain hard as her because I couldn’t tell you what color drawers she had on that day. I only ate the sandwich.
"Ya done gone eat the pudding out she pot, now she gat ya trap, look what you done got?" - If you ain see where K.B was going with this song yet, you gonna learn.
I immediately began feeling dizzy when I got back home. Something strange happened, I text her and said “Hey, just letting you know I am home safely”….it was like 4:30 in the fucking afternoon though. *Get it together, Nick* I went upstairs, and I tripped – literally – because I was staring down at our text message chain thinking about sending an aimless 2005 equivalent of “wyd?”, I feel like “sup” or some lame shit like that was cool at the time.
I got to my bedroom, got into the shower and I couldn’t feel the cold water. My whole body was hot hot hot like tea from Checker’s or from ya nosey ass bonnet wearing neighbor on Saturday morning, hot. I said “now what the hell is happenin’ here?” I turned the water to the hottest temperature, and my body went cold. WTF?
At this point I got nervous so I did what any sensible Bahamian would do.
Man, I gone in the kitchen and make some tea bey.
I figure maybe it’s something in my system, lil gas that needs to get out. Boy was I wrong. I went back into my room and I settled into bed. Staring anxiously at the ceiling for a few hours, I pondered “You think? Nah. That shit ain real, right?” I drifted off into a deep sleep.
"While man den was asleep, woman get da upper hand"...K.B, you really knew what you were talking about lol.
At some point, I opened my eyes and there she was, right there in the front of me wearing a turquoise skirt and a white top. I had two questions: Why are you so dressed up? But more importantly, how the hell did you get in my room? All she did was shake her head and say “get dressed, let’s go”.
Something weird was going on.
I threw on some jeans, a white tee, two rose gold dog-tags and some Huarache’s. We walked down the hallway, suspiciously absent of any sign of my parents whom she would have to have passed to get inside, right?
We walked outside and both my parents’ cars are on the driveway, along with mine and hers and the confusion mounts. “An assassin, now who sent her?” should have been my initial thought, but then I noticed she was wearing a thong under the skirt and decided to just go with the flow because…..you know.
Gal tells me we going out, and then made me drive. I asked her where she wanted to go, and her polite response was “let’s go get some ice cream and figure the rest out later”. Any self-respecting person knows that TCBY is a mandatory first ice-cream stop because if she can’t appreciate TCBY you don’t need that kind of reckless misplaced negativity in your life. Golden Vanilla with honey coated walnuts for her, and a chocolate and vanilla swirl with gummy bears in a waffle cone for me. Judge ya ma.
We must have driven around the whole day stopping at different places We went all the way out to Clifton and took some photos near the Sacred Space, and just walked around Jaws Beach acting like two silly young tourists. After that, we drove back downtown and made a quick stop by Fat Tuesday’s and got two category 5’s for the road, she never had Bamboo Shack so I had to help her level up and we grabbed a conch and chicken snack. Man, it was a relaxing day. A fun day.
We finished the day on Paradise Island, had some late night drinks at Plush before a “sensible hour” arrived and we went back to my house. She kissed me very possessively on my driveway. It was the kiss of obeah, and it was beautiful.
When she left, I immediately took my phone out like a clown and texted her “Make sure and call me when you get home”. Call me? Bey, I am not now and have never been much of a “phone person”, save for late night singing sessions with another old love.
She called me. She called me and said “Hey, my Mom is out, you want to come over for a bit?” to which I replied “Sure, I’ll come through in 20 minutes.” Now, you all know DAMN WELL what the next text in this chain means.
She said “Okay, make it 30 minutes I need to take a shower.”
“Aight, coo..BRUGADOOM. I slipped on the stairs where I was so excited and trying to skip a step and text at the same time. I had to go jump in the shower and throw on some grey Nike sweatpants and a tank top, spray on something fresh (Givenchy Aquamarine was my cologne of choice at the time) and brush my teeth.
I grabbed a Heineken from the fridge on my way out, and got in the car and headed to her place. She opens the door wearing some casual clothes, and she lets me in and we sit on the sofa in her living room for a while. I said “I thought you were going to make me another sandwich”, and she just laughed. She moved closer to me on the couch, and we started kissing, and I discovered the utility of a woman wearing a spaghetti strapped top.
The rest went exactly how you imagined. #giggity
I must have gotten back to my house, just in time for her to say “My mom just pulled up, and saw my shorts in the living room LOL #smileyface”
I grabbed a Heineken from the fridge and went upstairs, both of my parents were apparently asleep, or I was at least sure my Dad was sleeping. His snoring was rocking the hinges off the doors.
After I kicked off my shoes, I sat on the couch in my room for a minute and still had no idea how the hell she got in my house that day, my mind was also hazy and I don’t remember that coming up in conversation at any point either. Weird. In fact, I didn’t remember a lot of how we got to where we were and what we did. It was all kind of floating about in my subconscious. I couldn’t recall any of the people we had seen, not even the bartender who we bought the drinks from at Fat Tuesday’s. It’s like everyone’s faces disappeared from my mind, except hers.
It was the most bizarre thing.
It was a breezy night and it was low-tide so the waves were more splashing and less dashing on the rocks. The windows were open so all the ocean breeze was coming through, yet somehow I was still warm. I was actually starting to sweat and started to feel this warmth in the back of my head moving down my shoulders and half way down my back. I put the beer down, and I got up and went in the bathroom to look in the mirror. Every time I blinked in the light, I could see her standing next to me and see us looking happy. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!”
I mussy need some more tea ay?
"To make a roux badder than voodoo, badder than kung-fu, they call it coo-coo soup. Boy, Brother Coops this gal does make me cry ooohhh she sweet like pie...."...K.B. still winning on this road.
“NICHOLAS YOU CAN’T STILL BE SLEEPING”, bellowed my Mother. Most unusual because she would just walk into my room and start a full blown conversation. I was knocked right out. Dead to the world. Deep sleep. Also, for some inexplicable reason, my shoulder and side kind of hurt. It was like, I tripped and fell on the stairs or something. #thesandwich
It was 9:00am and I realized I had left the curtains open and the sun was scorching the back of my head, my shoulders and back. I sat up and said out-loud “What the fuck did I just dream?”
It was so vivid, so real and it felt so good. You ever felt like ya juice, but ya know ya didn’t juice? It was that kind of feeling. Surreal and strange. I also had the strangest craving for a chicken sandwich. Not 5 minutes later, my Blackberry pings. It’s her. “Morning, you want to come over for lunch later? I’m making spaghetti”
I texted her back, “if you’re making spaghetti, you should wear a spaghetti strapped top”. She said “LOL. Maybe I will. Also, my Mom is going to be out for most of the day so we can chill”.
I walked into the closet and tried to figure out what to throw on to head to her house. I threw on some grey Nike sweatpants and a tank top, sprayed on something fresh (Givenchy Aquamarine was my cologne of choice at the time) and brushed my teeth.
I don’t know what made me change my mind. I was already in the kitchen grabbing a Heineken from the fridge when I felt like I wanted to change. I swopped my sweats for some jeans, a white tee, some Huarache’s and grabbed my two rose gold dog-tags from my dresser. #FreshUp
It wasn’t until I got to her house, and she opened the door wearing this beautiful turquoise skirt, clearly with a thong on underneath that I said “Déjà vu” and then she said......... “I’m out of spaghetti. Do you want another sandwich?”
....Well muddasick, caught in the matrix ay?!
“Everytime I see her my mind is not my own, I’m like an old potcake scrapping for a bone, so I made a trip down to San Salvador to see if me family dem could find me a cure…something for the coo coo soup, a cure for the coo coo soup.” - Coco Soup x Kirkland Bodie
A link to Coo Coo Soup on Youtube. I don't know own it, it was just the first one that came up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g7Yg7g4evs