Today’s topic: Jet-skiing. One of the most underrated experiences in The Bahamas. First, a quick story for shits and giggles because we can all use a little laughter:
My cousin got married last November and I thought it was a great idea to take a jet-ski over to Paradise Island for the post-wedding lunch. I sped out of Brown’s Boat Basin heading east, turned south and did 40mph throw the narrows, jumped some waves just for fun, and then slowed down to open some champagne while I was passing along cabbage beach heading west.
Not making too much speed, I cruise into the “bay” on the south-western side of the island with a bottle of champagne balanced between my legs, looking for the right house. In my infinite wisdom, I open the water-tight compartment; remove my phone from the waterproof bag, and call Dominic so he can come out onto the beach.
He comes out, and I spot him so I head in his direction and when I am about 15 feet away from the shoreline I let the engine idle down. The swells were quite big that day, and the current turned the jet-ski parallel to the swells. I can’t remember what the hell my cousin and I were saying to each other, I just remember looking to my right and saying “OH FUCK!” right before a big swell knocked the jet-ski over, throwing me into the water.
Remember that iPhone I mentioned? It was in my pocket and is now deceased. R.I.P to my iPhone X, though to be fair it was probably for the best. That phone was probably a horcrux of some kind harboring energy I needed to disassociate from, but that isn’t the point.
Dominic shot this video just moments before the wave took me out! haha
Boating is a staple activity in The Bahamas and it is always great fun. You gather a group of friends, invite all the pretty girls you know, acquire some drinks and some snacks, find a beach and make a day party out of it. Never a dull day on a boat, but jet-skiing is a totally different type of experience.
Freedom is what I want to feel when I am on an adventure and jet-skiing removes all of the walls around you and give you nothing but latitude for the perfect escapade.
There are many islands you can get to via jet-ski if you have the nerve to do it and a damn good GPS. One of my domestic travel bucket-list items is to jet ski from Nassau to Spanish Wells, then over to Harbour Island or to Highbourne Cay, Exuma. I promise I am not crazy.
One of the most alluring things about the islands of The Bahamas is that each island and each cay has so many hidden beaches, bays, atolls and coves that are undiscovered. Boats can’t always get to these places. For an intimate day out with bae, or if you just want to get away from the humdrum monotony of crowded rose island beaches, you need to hope a on a jet-ski and just go.
My favorite spot – the location of which I will not disclose – is a very remote cove on the far end of one of the nearby islands that has a small reef, sheltered beach and a steel grill that an explorer before me left chained to a tree. A great Saturday here usually involves a fresh catch, cold beer and if I’m with the right company we can forget the swimsuits and get that full body tan since there’s never anyone around.
This is what I want for Bahamians, to go out and do more random exploration of our islands.
Jet-skis are also a good value-for-money experience. You don’t want to go to those random guys on the beaches though, that's highway...or...seaway robbery! There’s a couple places, and people including an older gentlemen whom I simply call “Campbell” where for a fee you can take a wave-bike out for the day and return it by a certain time. You’re responsible for your fuel, but $50 worth of gas can comfortably get you anywhere within 20-25 miles of Nassau and back with fuel to spare.
There’s just something exhilarating about throttling up an ocean-motorcycle and jumping a wave, or running full speed alongside a speed boat. Even cruising up and down Nassau Harbour gives you some beautiful views looking back at the fading colonial aesthetic.
Grab a friend and swop out the group boat ride for a tandem jet-ski mission and I promise you won’t regret it. If you ask nicely, I might tell you where the secret spot is, though I don’t know if I want to meet anyone else sporting the crown jewels on my discovered-but-not-well-known secret spot!
Also, keep your phone in a water tight pouch.
I am fully aware I need a fresh shave, but ya'll gonna have to get this stubble.
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